Thanks Rahul, you can shove off now.

Dear Rahul,

You did your role in Sri Lanka and South Africa, but because we feel that we don’t make enough stupid decisions, we have decided to drop you from the series against Australia. We have a point too, what if you make good runs against them? How will we justify our dropping you then?

See, we want you to play in tough conditions where the pitches are slow, chasing is impossible or the other extreme, where the bounce is enough to make some of your team-mates whine. It’s easy to drop you then, you see.

We regret to inform you that we have completely decided to ignore the fact that you top scored against Pakistan. Instead that is our crux in blaming you that you couldn’t take us across the finishing line. You should have done it, not the horde of finishers we have in the Dhoni, Raina, Yusuf and Kohli. They are all young, how will they learn. You on the other hand are not. It’s the sad truth my friend. Our selections aren’t based on performances, only on age. Except Sachin, you know, because he’s Sachin.

If its any consolation, you’ll be the first name down in the book if we tour South Africa or New Zealand circa 2002. Because like we said, we love having a reason to drop you.

With best wishes,

Kris Srikkanth and his merry band of nitwits

P.S: Just to make you feel better, we have also sacked Venki and Robin, you guys played together a lot, maybe you can talk to them?

Advertisement