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And don’t worry, this post is not because they beat Pakistan. Pakistan beats Pakistan.

They don’t require other teams to beat them, they just know how to do it. It clicks with them, because that’s what they are. When they win, you see Afrdi’s shampoo sponsors happy, Younis makes jokes that make you laugh, and the world is good.

Now New Zealand on the other hand know exactly what to say.

Sample Southee recently:

“Pakistan have proved they’re a great Twenty20 outfit – they’re the world champions – and they’ve got the wood over us in the last few outings.”

Now I’m no Southee fan, I think he’s a New Zealand Broad but that’s me but I love how he’s completely removed all the attention from New Zealand and thrown it on Pakistan.

Sure Pakistan wins, no big deal, they’re meant to. They lose, hell New Zealand were the odds on favourites to lose miserably.

And this is what the Kiwis do so well, they just know what to say and when to say.

Something the South Africans and the English could learn to do so. You hear Swann making ridiculous statements all the time, Mickey Arthur is on another planet altogether where he gives advice to every team except his.

Australia really have toned down the talking now. They appreciate others now, what a dampener.

If there was an award for smooth talkers in cricket, I would give it to the Kiwis, from Fleming to Vettori and nearly every other Kiwi cricketer.

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So I conveniently disappeared after wishing New Zealand into the finals of the Champions Trophy.

I know the Australians looked strapping in their uber-cool white jackets, and I know I couldn’t bother to give credit to them for defending their title. Sorry guys, if you hadn’t won so much in the first place, I wouldn’t be like this.

I know the Australians won it, but if you ask me this was Pakistan’s tournament for the taking. Over-confidence did them in. But that’s what the tournament was. Except for the finals probably, most of the results were complete reversals of the expected. England beat the Lankans and the Saffers. Are you telling me someone expected that?

That whole match-fixing fiasco in Pakistan is a disgrace. Come on, it’s one thing blaming India for everything wrong, but paying off Australian umpires is ridiculous.

So the world has moved from South Africa to India, to the Champions (again) League.

Originality is not the strong point it seems in the cricketing market-minds.

It’s so hard that writing “Champions League live streaming” gets me flooded with football links. Come on guys, it’s hard enough finding a link in any case.

Anyway in the Champions League, JP Duminy was so damn awesome yesterday. It was breathless stuff. I just saw the highlights. I can’t really bother trying hard enough to watch each of these gazzilion matches coming up. So I’m going to let the others get excited and catch the good bits on highlights.

Hope the League throws up a lot of excitement. Not like today’s Delhi and Victoria, when I was really hoping Sehwag would blast his way back.

In keeping up the pace with this magnificent tournament, an Australian collapse would have been the icing on an already very tasty looking cake.

Which is why what Hauritz and Lee did was wrong, plain wrong. They came in the way of a collapse against the world’s most collapsible team. Causing and demonstrating collapses is Pakistan’s thing. When they fall short of collapsing, the viewer feels robbed. Like we all were today. A one run victory would have made everything so spicy. Imagine the tension a little bit away if the Indians had to make that target in about 28 overs.

All the Indians would say how it’s all because India were the number 1 team in ODI’s. Everyone in Pakistan would say it’s only because we love playing India in the finals. Every Australian would hate the Poms. Don’t ask me why, why do we all dislike their cricket. West Indies would probably have caused the upset that they have so threatened to cause till then. South Africans would laugh at Australia, saying no one chokes better than us.

Ah Pakistan, I know you’re moving away to a world where you play better cricket. No collapses for us to see then?

We have the most interesting Champion’s trophy going on in years and I’m having to hop one flight from another.

The only match I caught till now properly was the India-Pak and what a match. That was one hell of a classic.

England has shocked everyone, themselves included. How were they the first team to reach the semi’s? Are we living in a parallel universe where England plays decent one-day cricket. Have they got aliens playing for them? Or just the Irish?

Pakistan seem to be winning everything while giving free hits wrapped in wrapping paper.

Australia seem to have a rather mediocre team and still are just one point from a semi’s place.

India seemed to have the match against Pakistan in the bag when they decided to give a return gift for all the free hits.

Sri Lanka blew hot and I loved them for it. And then they blew so cold I couldn’t believe they were the same team.

New Zealand thought they could make the Group B more interesting by beating the Lankans and promptly did so. And injured Jesse in the process.

The West Indies are brilliant. That’s all. Please don’t look at their batting. They probably have the most exciting pace attack next to Pakistan. And they don’t give too many free hits either. Except to Mitchell.

And South Africa.. what have you done? Did I hear it correctly? No semi-finals? Again? When it was your time. Everyone said so. And I believed it this time.

I really hope I’m able to catch the semis and the final. It’s going to be one hell of a finish as long as the weather keeps true. Come on SA, please ensure that now.

Rated R for Violence and Sheer Brutality: Sri Lanka vs England. Starting soon.

If you’re English, stay away.

Yes, Sarcasm.

What I want is humilation.

I want Stuart Broad to start crying. I want Dilshan to Dilscoop him for a six each ball in a over, the last one being a no-ball, and then another six off the free hit with another Dilscoop. Go Dilshan, go one up on Yuvraj. Anything to take the piss off Broad.

Broad

How do I stop batsmen from treating me like fodder?

Mendis has an excellent first up record against most teams. You never know with England, he might end up taking a 10 for. If only Sangakkara would open with him. But records against England don’t count. Not worthy enough. And definitely not in odi’s.

Who remembers that match in England when England made 320 odd, and Sri Lanka chased it down in 38 overs. That would do, more abject the better.

Sri Lanka just seem to have suffered a massive defeat at the hands of Pakistan. Wow, that wasn’t too expected was it. I really had no expectations, having completely forgotten there were actually warm ups today.

So do you think that’s serious or just Sri Lanka playing around lowering the expectations around them.

Among others, the West Indies were beaten to pulp by the Saffas. Much more along expected lines. If only Gayle was around to teach a lesson chasing 388. Err wait, 388 would have have been beyond Gayle too.

New Zealand somehow lost to the Warriors. My money is on them beating SA in their first match and causing this huge ass upset.  That would make Group B great fun.

Oh no, no warm up matches for England! Getting thrashed by Australia was probably a warm up enough for crashing out of this tournament. I predict no upsets for you England sorry.

England? Aha, you expected the West Indies didn’t you?

Well, I like the West Indies, and though Bangladesh is better than the current West Indies side, I would much rather make fun of the English.

Presuambly, the Poms are going to have the distinction of the first 7-0 defeat across Odi’s. About time they set some records. If it hadn’t been for that shortened series in India, it would have been two 7 nils in nine months. And you think they don’t care about records.

If Bangladesh had been playing Australia, I would be willing to bet my house that they wouldn’t have lost a series 7-0. Wait, I don’t own a house. Atlease I’m safe that way. I think the only time I fear for odi’s is when England is playing them.  They are just so pissing off god damn boring. But well, the ICC probably thinks they are jolly good.  Bloody fools.

Who in this English team do you really want to watch?

Broad? I would kill myself if I had to ( but wasn’t he the new Flintoff?)

We all know he’s rejected that ECB Contract. He’s going to play cricket on five different continents for 5 different teams, from what I heard last.

Hell No. He’s going to represent all the different leagues from England, South Africa, India, West Indies and Austrlia in the World Bungee Championships. I do NOT kid you folks.

From being the highest-paid IPL cricketer to the first freelance cricketer and now these highly esteemed Bungee Championship things, Flintoff sure seems to be a man of many firsts.

And I still can’t understand the fuss around him. He really seems to be useless in T20’s. Oh wait, are we talking about B(ungee) 20’s now?

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